The following represents all books currently listed within the genre, Humour:
The world is changing . . .
. . . and no one sees the danger.
However, one man – accidentally imbued with extraordinary powers – could be the answer to it all.
As visions compel him on a journey involving the legendary Excalibur and The Lady of the Lake, Arthur finds himself in England. The irresistible call brings him to the famous London Institute of Psychic Research, where he meets Ruth.
The feisty, red-headed doctor wants nothing to do with the arrogant American, but her boss and the Commander of MI-6 have other plans. Believing the beautiful scientist is the key to controlling and weaponizing Arthur’s abilities, they force the pair to work together.
Ruth has no choice but to tag along, finding it increasingly difficult to fight her growing attraction for Arthur. However, when a camping trip along Lake George suddenly turns into a military expedition, the doctor realizes the precarious predicament she’s in. And her unwanted partner isn’t the only source of concern.
There are more secrets hidden beneath the dark waters than anyone imagined. And, strangely, unknown forces are causing Arthur’s senses to go wonky. He’s losing control.
Will he be able to recover his powers and prevent WWIII? His next move may determine the fate of the world.
You’ll love this snarky urban fantasy / sci-fi adventure because the twists, turns, and smoldering romance makes you want to keep turning the page.
Get it now.
The Secret of Excalibur is a 2016 Readers' Favorite Honorable Mention award winner in the Fiction - Fantasy - Urban genre.
The Secret of Excalibur is an ADULT ADVENTURE and not suitable for young readers or people offended by sex and violence.
Follow the hilarious lives of the naïve Turner family as they emigrate from Liverpool to sunny South Africa. Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.
If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine, you will recognise Mavis Turner.
ABNA semi finalist. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer: With a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well.
Should be a NY TIMES BESTSELLER
(spouse hoping to retire on royalties).
(the novel is based on a sit-com)
(74 400 words)
"I thought I’d knocked him out, but in a flash he’d turned on to all fours and was crawling swiftly, spider-like, back towards us. He still held the knife, so I set fire to the handle. The wood flamed and he hissed in pain but didn’t let go. It was all turning rather awkward.”
With the swinging sixties staggering, shamefaced and flustered, into the slightly staider seventies, life for Stella, isn’t going as smoothly as she’d like. As an ordinary person, who happens to have some extraordinary abilities, it's frustrating to find that something as simple as holding down a job, throws up unexpected hurdles.
She'd be a darn sight better off if she could ditch the conviction she knows best which, together with a chronic inability to keep her mouth shut and her nose out of other people's business, has led her more than once off the straight and narrow into the dodgy and dangerous. Plans for a safer future, include setting herself up in business, squashing her over-active conscience and steering clear of risky and unpleasant. Unfortunately, the best laid plans can lead to the darkest places.
Recent review: 'Beautifully written, this book will grab readers on a visceral level. Stella is both heroine, victim and villain, and one of the most compelling characters I have encountered in some time. For the Love of Books.'
For Sandra, daughter of illusionists, Adam and Ophelia, life’s never been run of the mill! But when Adam’s wandering eye lights on yet another conquest, Sandra’s caught in the reverberations of her parents acrimonious parting. Coerced into restoring her depressed Mother to the bosom of a family Sandra never knew existed, she’s sucked into a situation that even for her is unnerving.
From being without a single relative, she suddenly acquires several she’d rather do without. Ophelia, it appears, has not been entirely honest about any number of things. There’s no doubt in Sandra’s mind, the sooner she puts as much distance as possible between herself, the newly discovered nearest and dearest with their peculiar tendencies and failing hotel business, the happier she’s going to b.
There are just a few things to sort first including a possessed chef; a hanged housemaid; a fly-on-the-wall documentary and a doppelgänger. Things slide swiftly from bad to farce and then get a hell of a lot darker. One minute she’s saving the family business the next, battling to save their lives. Turns out, some darknesses, once buried, are best left undisturbed.
And for your in-flight entertainment – A Bit of Light Literature, Short Stories & Other Fun Stuff. It’s a light-hearted variety of humorous articles, short stories ranging from hypochondria to murder, plus a quiz, agony aunt column, limericks and a collection of malapropisms to keep you amused and divert you from the tedium of flying. .
“This muesli must be old. It’s got weasels in it.”
A great book to keep with you whilst travelling, and a perfect gift (suitable for both men and women) for someone who is going on a trip.
"Should be compulsory reading to keep incorrigible chatterers quiet" - Frequent Flyer.
"Could also be used to ram down their throats" - Flight Attendant.
"The stories about me are hugely exaggerated" - Author's Spouse.
"Shredded drafts of this book line my litter tray. Royalties from this book will go towards proper deodorized litter and reduce complaints about the smell" - Family Cat
"What a relief that will be" - Family Dog.
Would you like an adventure on another planet?
This is just one of the questions Lara and her sister, Eva, must answer one sunny day in their garden. They wonder, how will they return to Earth in time for lunch? And how will they get there when the aliens' spaceship is so small?
When it's only big enough for ants!
But their help is needed on the planet Zeegrazzalo- Jeewoppza so off they go - into the unknown. Their feelings of helplessness only start to fade after a flight across the planet's Outerlands, in Kweezy Capolza's hummingcraft. Maybe, just maybe, the sisters can find some solutions to the aliens' problems. However, they think they might need their mother's help and she is back on Earth!
Is anyone ever really free of their past? Is it truly possible to start over fresh?
Etta was certainly going to try. After her turbulent undergraduate years, she was getting a fresh start in Marquette and finishing her dream. She’d pour everything she had into a healthy mind, body and spirit and work to become the best writer she could. What a dream spot to do it, along the shores of Lake Superior.
Tom was forging a new vision for his life after a career-ending injury as a power player on Northern Michigan’s college hockey team. The NHL was no longer in his future. But what were his prospects? Where would he find that something he’d longed for, to build a life like his parents had? How could he form what they had found together?
After a meeting of the minds, Tom and Etta create a bond from friendship. That friendship blossoms into romance. But is it really possible to start anew with so much baggage and no clear vision of the future? Do your experiences shape you into someone who can make something pure and clean from the crumbling embers? Or will the past always come looking for you when you least expect it?
Words from another Henrietta, who re-built her life from tragedy, bring the answers that allow Etta to move forward. But is it already too late?
Henrietta is stand-alone coming-of-age romance, which is the first in a three-book series, set in Marquette, Michigan and northern Iowa.
(Contains adult language and content)
Are you tired of romances that are always about a billionaire or a bad boy? Or better yet, the troublemaker who is in reality a good man but nobody knows it? They aren't realistic and after a few of them, they grow old. Patricia M Jackson strives to write romances about people you might meet in real life, people like you and I. They may do somewhat extraordinary things in her books, but their fifteen minutes of fame are quickly gone and they go on to live the lives of a Regular Jane and Joe.
ANNIVERSARY EDITION (2018). Includes a compendium of definitions, notes, and Jorund's map from Book One.
An epic fantasy on another world. With a modern twist.
Tyler's journey continues. New land, misadventures, friends, foes, skills, and knowledge. Confused encounters of the female kind.
More deities become aware of Tyler as he continues his quest to survive, reach his potential, and carry out his burden.
The god of wine wants to be his friend. Ares, the battle-god, is coming to say hello together with his sons, Phobos and Deimos - war, terror, and fear. What could go wrong?
Manchester-based Serena, now eighteen and pregnant, discovers the shocking reason why Tile X has befriended her. She doesn’t like what she hears. Mayhem ensues, with a retired Irish police superintendent becoming more involved than perhaps he should have. The Hostile Game is the third book in The Hostile series of gripping paranormal crime thrillers. Each book in this unusual series can be read as a standalone.
Available in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook editions.
Top #20 Amazon Bestseller In Biograpy&Memoirs>Collections
Get Your Copy of This Fantastic Short Story Collection
In this short story collection, Gary Troia shares his adventures, travels and memoirs from his life.
"Excellent! A collection of short stories about: depression, alcoholism and drug use. Very compelling reading. I read this short story collection all in one go." (Maria, Goodreads.)
"Gary manages to take the mundanities of life and elevate them to brilliance. in this short story collection" (Sara Fell)
"Author, Gary cements growing reputation...A Bricklayer's Tales touches on real-life experiences in the building trade." ( Salina Patel, Hounslow Cronicle)
Anyone who has ever done building work for brutal wage slavery and wondered if they were going mad, will recognise the life of Ray Dennis, (Troia's alter ego) which evokes a vision of mind-numbing, soul-destroying workplaces and workmates. His is the voice of discord for the marginally employed, the creatively frustrated working Joe, who turns to a life of drink and drugs to elevate the monotony of life.Few have brought this world to life with such despair, black humour and indifference as Gary Troia. He paints a beautifully sad portrait of a truly messed up person with potential, struggling to keep his messed up mind from drowning in cheap wine and self-loathing. Ray's spirit is trapped in a world of endless grey mundanity.
A Bricklayer's Tales is the ultimate "I hate this job" story, written as a collection of short stories and memoirs, each one containing a snapshot of the life of Ray. Troia captures the tedium of working in a low paid, menial job and living hand to mouth. This book of short stories is sad and questions the reader to ask questions about their own life. This book achieves clarity without trying.Ray has three expensive hobbies: drinking, drugs, and running away. Without the income that Bricklaying provides, he would not be able to maintain his chosen lifestyle, so he compromises his principles and continues with his trade. A collection of short stories and memoirs that include:
Angel Dust, the peculiar story of a man whose new life in America leads to conversations with Ancient Greek philosophers
Advert In The Art Shop Window, will a new building job in Spain be the start of a new life?
Return Ticket, handcuffed and ready for deportation. A sad departure from the States
Peyote, hippies, LSD and an idyllic refuge
A Bricklayer's Tale, the story of a disillusioned, alcoholic bricklayer
˃˃˃ A collection short stories and memoirs of British dark humour.
Scroll up and grab a copy today.
Timothy Williams is a teenage geek from 9b. He has problematic hair, a distinct lack of coolness, an obsession for warfare and is always picked last for PE. So, when he’s chosen by the Archangels to represent the forces of good against evil, he is naturally surprised and equally perturbed at the prospect. On the upside, he receives an ancient and powerful holy artefact to help protect him, but on the downside, it does little to improve his hair!
When Timothy’s school becomes the subject of a demon takeover, he and his two friends, Rupert and George, must unmask their foe. Timothy is forced into a battle for survival, not only in the real world but in his very dreams where he must fight his nemesis to prevent Hell on Earth.
And when revelations about Timothy’s ancestry come to light, he must accept his past to save his future. Timothy Williams must survive to fight the Last Battle on the eve of the new century, and he must win to save our souls…
Hell on Earth? Not if Timothy can help it.
Holiday for The Hostile, the second book in The Hostile series, is probably even stranger than the first. It can be read as a stand-alone. Serena, plus her unusual friend and partner in crime, Tile X, reluctantly find themselves suffering a family holiday at her eccentric grandfather’s hovel in Ireland. Who will escape intact from their dramatic holiday from Hell? A gripping paranormal crime thriller with a splash of horror. Available in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook editions.
ANNIVERSARY EDITION. With lore notes from Books One and Two.
Continuing our lost mage's epic journey through the magical and extremely dangerous world of Adar.
Escaping the convoluted schemes of the Greek pantheon, Tyler finds himself with an old acquaintance, the Incan deity Viracocha. His son, the sun god Inti, is dead. With the Aztecah Empire and its powerful pantheon of deities on the bloody road to more conquests, the deity asks for his help. A request he could easily refuse.
Except Viracocha is not alone is asking for his aid. Two other pantheons have made their presence known to the young mage. And the Egyptian deities are watching how he will decide the matter. To add to his burdened conscience, the rise and dominance of the Aztecah pantheon would mean a literal bloodbath - a million or more new human sacrifices. Resulting in extremely overpowered bloodthirsty deities. Not to mention the deity saved his life back in Akrotiri.
What's a newly minted Elder apprentice mage to do? Involve himself in a blood war?
Book One in the Vale of Strange series
When Peter comes to live with his aunt and uncle at the shop on Peculiar Hill, he has a lot to learn. What are bogeys and heeble-greebs and the other fierce creatures which live in the nearby Vale of Strange? Why is it so important to wear a hat and sturdy boots? And what is this stuff called strangeness which comes bubbling out of the ground?
When Peter discovers the dark secret which lurks at the heart of this place, he finds his efforts to make things better do not go according to plan. He sets out to make amends with the aid of his new friend Amanda, but how can he know that requesting her help will prove to be a very big mistake?
The story of a young boy's reluctant journey to find the brutal and vicious killers of his parents. For, although he would like to see the killers brought to justice, he only makes the journey because he is cajoled into it by a tall, beautiful woman who has her own reasons to find the killers and exact her own brand of Justice upon them.
The journey they embark upon covers hundreds of miles and the pair encounter many dangers along the way. But the longer the boy is in the company of the young woman, the more he realises what an unpredictable and slightly crazy and very violent, woman she is. But despite all he learns about her, nothing can prepare him for the tragic and unforeseeable circumstances they encounter at the end of their journey.
On the planet Ankor, Klubbe the turkle lives as a hermit. A marine mishap inspires him to be an inventor. His inventions and explorations change his life, his entire planet.
Turkles are close cousins of turtles. Unlike them, they have yellow golden skin and back shells, walk on their hind legs, have the gift of language, and the ability to create their own culture.
The life of Klubbe may read like a light-hearted science fiction story, but it actually happened to him. Princess Corka thinks his invention is sublime. Ubbtosh, the pyramid priest, promises to guide him to the core of the cosmos. In space, there are no sign posts, he finds, but there are other beings. And on Ankor, there are mysteries to be solved. Is the Great Glom more than a myth? And what about the Great Archy Eopta?
Lust shouts. Love whispers. Only the heart knows the difference.
When 40-year-old former US navy officer Adam Wild takes up the position of head teacher at St Mary’s Academy for Girls in England, he knows he’ll have his work cut out for him. But what he doesn’t realise is that his greatest challenge will be in managing the all-female staff.
Jenna feels the position should have been hers and undermines his attempts to reform the troubled school. Barbara (Babs) sees him as a romantic challenge, but Lisa, his confidante, believes she knows where his heart truly lies.
Adam’s strict new rules and sometimes cavalier approach set him on a collision course with a contingent of sullen and rebellious students who set out to manipulate and embarrass him in ways that only teenage girls can.
Still recovering from the tragic loss of his wife and two young children in a car crash, Adam is not in the market for new romance. But that does not prevent him from becoming the target of several predatory, repressed, or love-hungry libidos. His virile presence acts as a catalyst that upsets the entrenched order and stability of the school world, and proceeds to pull more than one dark, scandalous secret into the light … And then Nicole, his late wife’s tearaway kid sister returns from Africa - and she is hiding secrets of her own.
Intrigue, scandal and suspense simmer beneath the surface of this light-hearted and humour-peppered romance, where one man’s influence on a school full of wayward girls and their teachers changes their lives in ways none of them could imagine – and eventually his own.
Winner of the best Chick Lit/Women’s Lit category in the 2015 eFestival of Words
If you enjoy feel-good stories then don't miss this happy-ever-after read.
FALLEN HERO is about a man who seems to spend his life building bridges. Bridges between his unknown origins and his aspirations in life. Once he finds a tenuous link to his biological father Chris Squires cannot help but follow its path. Despite his misgivings he seeks out his roots.
FALLEN HERO is also about a man who is trying to reconcile the realities of war, and life, with his disappointment over his lost inner hopes for the dad he needed to find.
Two boys about to become teenagers: Christopher, born just after the end of World War Two, grows up in the UK; Fritz, orphaned by a bomb dropped on his German home in that same terrible war, befriended by a US marine. When Christopher discovers he was adopted he seeks to find his biological father. Fritz never gets the chance to grow much older and is found dead in the back of General George Patton's Cadillac at the end of the war.
Chris Squires is a confused man, constantly seeking his hero father-figure. The British baby boomer is surprised to find he has a connection with Fritz. Chris discovers the link through Jimmy Lucas, a GI veteran, who he believes could be his father. But his surprise turns to horror when he learns that Jimmy was involved in the death of both Patton and the boy.
Did he kill General George Patton, one of the greatest Generals of the twentieth century? Did he kill an orphaned German boy at the end of World War Two? If the answer to any or all of these questions is Yes! how will Chris cope with the rest of his life?
A confrontation creates further tragedy for Chris, for Jimmy, and for Walt - the man who had saved Jimmy’s life! Chris panics and retreats back to Britain, trying to forget the incident he caused in San Francisco. Although appearing to lead a mundane and respectable life, for years he is tormented by guilt. He still hopes to find his hero, a guide to some kind of inner peace. And then Walt re-enters his life bringing with him a new bridge!
Your child will love this book!
You can read it to your little baby or an older child, the book's ideal for ages between 0 months and 5 years
It's fun and educational, and your child will learn their ABCs, 123s and animal names.
Remember: Every child needs to spell and count.
Every child needs encouragement, love and support to find their way in life.
They depend on YOU to choose the best for them.
This book gives you the opportunity to teach the Alphabet and Numbers, together with animal recognition, in a fun way.
It also gives your child a head start!
Are you feeling a little lost? Got that 'left in the spare room' emptiness about you? Mawson does too.
He sits atop his cushion and ponders about baffling things.
The world is a baffling place for a curious teddy bear to live in. Friends approach him about their own dilemmas. They seek instant answers that will make everything all right. Mawson does his best. But after he ponders deeply, most things remain for him just as baffling as they were before.
Take a moment out of your day to pawse with him and explore the world. For the many frazzled readers who feel, secretly, much the same, he offers the comfort that the world is a bright place to be.
"Mediterranean Noir with a comic twist."
Roy Groves has led a colourful career in business, during which he battled with corporate politics, deception, and even vicious criminals. But now Roy has retired and he is looking forward to a quieter life. He and his wife, Donna, have bought an apartment in an exclusive development on Spain’s Costa del Sol.
He soon learns, however, that there are financial problems: the community is, in effect, bankrupt. Roy is persuaded to take on the role of president of the community, confident that, with his extensive business experience, he should easily be able to sort things out. It soon becomes clear, however, that nothing is as simple as it seems.
As he tries to come up with a rescue plan, Roy discovers that a poorly-constructed retaining wall has begun to collapse, threatening the development with a landslide. And this is just the start …
As the problems mount up, one after the other, Roy becomes entangled with an astonishingly diverse cast of characters: the devious building developer; the vengeful former President; the Russian prostitute, and her mafia minders; the deranged Middle-Eastern doctor; the devastatingly glamorous French girl who moves in next door; and many more ...
Horizontal Living is an illuminating insight into the shenanigans which pervade an ex-pat community abroad: sometimes hilarious, sometimes hard to believe, but sometimes darkly disturbing.
A humorous, animal detective story for 7-12 year-olds
When Mrs Canary’s eggs mysteriously disappear, a frantic Mr Canary dashes straight off to the Pigeon Valley Police for help. Unfortunately, Sergeant Loerie and Constable Mole’s hasty attempts to make an arrest lead them to the wrong suspects. Leon Chameleon PI, who has quietly kept an eye on developments, decides it is time to step in and offer his services – after all, isn’t he the best Private Eye in Pigeon Valley? He puts all his skills to work and finds vital clues which Loerie had overlooked. Now a daring plan is needed to trap the suspects and bring them before Spotted Eagle Owl’s Court, where Leon springs his final surprise…
Janet Hurst-Nicholson draws on the habits and characteristics of the small creatures living in Pigeon Valley, Durban, to create a thrilling detective story. Barbara McGuire’s illustrations capture the story’s humour, while portraying the animals as they really are.
This Vintage Photographic Collection takes you by the hand, drawing you into life’s rich tapestry and featuring such vital rites of passage as Walking Out, Weddings and Family Life. We also take a look at Fashion; viewing with a sympathetic eye the good the bad and the indescribable, before turning attention to a number of Ladies with Attitude, best defined as those who hold strong views – on everything.
This is a book designed to raise the spirits and put a smile on your face, not to mention the faces of other strong-minded Ladies you know and love. We can do no better than summarise with a pertinent quote; “A Vintage Lady is defined by attitude not year.” ~ Hildegarde Boneforte 1895
Feedback: “Just wanted to let you know, I’ve fallen head over heels for the Vintage Ladies, as have friends and family I’ve brought a book for. More please!” - Liz Pendle
Updated 2019 Edition. Rearranged and modified to follow the audiobook version.
An epic fantasy on another world in the classic tradition. Magic, adventure, mayhem, monsters, and twisted schemes.
What if you fell through a crack in reality? Like those people disappearing in plain sight you have read about.
What if you find yourself in a strangely familiar world? A world full of Earth's mythological beings, lost civilizations, and people from its primitive and brutal past? Where magical energy still exists. Where gods play games among themselves, with the fate of mortal men as pawns. A land where a sword is deadlier than a five-inch thick contract drawn by a hotshot lawyer. Would you survive?
That's Tyler West. Alone, lost and bewildered, the three moons in the sky made it clear he wasn't on Earth anymore. It is not a game. It's real. And there's no coffee, pizza, fries, or his favorite show on HBO.
A novel of approximately 132,000 words.
Humor. Love. Conspiracy.
Chad “Manic” Murphy, is an amusing and charismatic hockey star on the rise. His tutor is the gorgeous Isabella Donato, his teammate’s twin sister. If only he hadn’t promised never to touch her. Though his life is in turmoil, he charms his way into her heart. When she comes to her senses, her follow-the-rules mentality often clashes with his oblivious, impulsive ways.
Murphy’s one-sided decision to turn pro, throws them into a cycle of unanswered longing. He stumbles upon a lawless domain driven by a man who has the power to destroy his world. Can Murphy clean up his chaotic life and once again sweep Izzy off her feet? Tragedy leaves her wondering if they could ever make it work.
Isabella is the second in the new adult romance series “The House of Donato”. If you like an enjoyable light-hearted romance, with sensitive love scenes sure to delight and arouse, download this unpredictable and compelling read today.
A humorous, animal detective story for 7-12 year-olds.
When Mr Woodland Mouse mysteriously disappears, Constable Mole is quick to enlist the help of Leon Chameleon, Private Investigator, whose expertise enabled the Pigeon Valley Police to solve the case of the missing canary eggs.
After organising a search, Leon realises that there is only one creature in the valley who can spring the captured mouse from his prison. But just when he thinks Mr Woodland Mouse is safely on his way home, the plan goes horribly wrong..."
All the animal details of food, habits, and lifestyle are true to nature (apart from Constable Mole’s sunglasses!) and the animals solve the crimes using their own natural abilities. Children will absorb much knowledge of the small creatures of Africa without being aware of it.
A section of interesting facts has been added to this second detective story in the Leon Chameleon PI series. It provides valuable and little-known information on chameleons, moles and other creatures featured in the story.
A young man coming of age as he undergoes basic military training. Stories drawn from real-world experience, with the anti-hero transforming from awkward teenager to young adult as he tries to outwit those in authority. These eight short stories are hilarious, serious, whimsical, and entertaining, providing insights into a young man's search for identity and independence within a military system designed for conformity and control.
This non-fiction, colour-illustrated book describes my close relationship with old postcards. I've been collecting postcards since the nineteen seventies and now own over two thousand of these charming, beautifully quirky historical items. I started fanatically collecting them while writing my thesis on Fantasy in Postcards at art college, where I was studying for a graphic design degree. My thesis won me a first with distinction, whereas my graphic art annoyingly gained me only a 2:2. I was asked by my art history tutor to lecture on the subject of Fantasy in Postcards. As I was only twenty-one at the time, I didn't feel ready. I opted to write this book instead. All the cards in my book are from my own large collection.
Her demonic Angel and other short stories, published in 2016, is a collection of all of my short stories written thus far. This baker's dozen of short stories have been written in a variety of genres so hopefully there should be something for everyone. Some tales are stranger than others, but all could be said to be different shades of dark. Despite its somewhat suggestive title, Her demonic Angel is not erotica.
To whet your appetite, here are the titles of some of the short stories: ‘The boy they called Dragon’, ‘The day nobody gave a damn’, ‘An email from Jane’, ‘Stuff’, ‘Getting rid of the enemy’, ‘Skin’, ‘Too beautiful’, ‘Philately will get you nowhere’, ‘Mirror, mirror’, ‘In memoriam'.
Available in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook editions.
Top #10 Amazon Bestseller In Books>Spain>Basque
"Author, Gary cements growing reputation...A collection of short stories that give a humorous account of life in a new country." (Salina Patel, The Hounslow Chronicle)
"I liked the fact that some of the short stories in this collection were connected and followed on from each other, but at the same time they are stand alone. Great for people like me who are slow readers, I can read a whole story on the train to work and not have to wait all day for the ending." (Carol Wiggins)"
I really enjoyed reading these short stories, they are easy to read. I would have liked it if there were more stories!" (Maria, Goodreads)
In this short story collection, Gary Troia shares his adventures and memoirs from his travels in Spain. A Total of 9 Stories Including:
How Not To Travel To The Alhambra, hung-over, the wrong fuel, the car breaks down. Will they ever make it to Granada?
Poking A Carob Tree, a new home and new neighbours, just in time for Christmas.
The Road To Ronda, a terrifying drive to Ronda, was it worth it?
Gaudi, a flight to Barcelona for a kebab and a look at the Sagrada Familia.
Spain Reborn, no more commuting to London. Lets celebrate!
A Fabrian Books feel-good collection. Fifteen tales of life, love, and family – perfect for a coffee-break! Previously published in UK national magazines, the stories are about relationships within the family and without – some are humorous, some bittersweet; all are upbeat and emotional. Profits from ebook and paperback sales of this collection will be donated to charity.
The Party Partners Belinda and Phillip have fun at weddings, engagement parties and all sorts of celebrations. But anything more personal was out of the question – or was it?
Family Matters Gary shares Sharon’s dream of having children – but as far as he’s concerned, it’s something for the future.
Corinna’s Big Day It was the most important day in baby Corinna’s life, but for Madge, it was one of the saddest…
Lucky for Some You might say drawing number 13 in the cycle rally was bad luck. You might say falling off was bad luck, too. But Hilary knew better!
Patiently Waiting Mike woke up after his operation and saw the girl of his dreams. The problem was the engagement ring she wore on a chain round her neck…
The Saturday Secret What was she up to? The whole family wanted to know! But Gran wasn’t telling…
And many more…
Linda Huber has written over fifty short stories for magazines. She is also the author of psychological suspense novels Chosen Child; Ward Zero, and others.
Continuing our lost Archmage's adventures in the world of Adar.
The Void Lands. A place where gods fear to tread. Where strange creatures and fantastic hostile beings emerge. A nexus of dimensions, the origins of which are lost in the mists of time.
To stop the Aztechah Empire’s march to power and domination of the eastern lands, Tyler West, now a First Mage, must confront and defeat the empire’s mysterious patrons - beings of incredible might and magical knowledge. An unavoidable path which leads him right to the Void Lands. Even then, a few detours are required, each dangerous yet crucial.
However, the Void Lands are on the other side of the continent. And to get there, Tyler may have to ask a favor from the Trickster God himself, the Norse deity known as Loki - if he survives being trapped by the sudden wave of attacks from the empire itself, a desperate move to strengthen its position in the wake of a significantly weakened Aztecah pantheon.
Still, things are not that simple. Unknown to the freshly minted First Mage, his actions have led to sinister plots being hastened, new conspiracies, and a shift in the balance of power among the pantheons. Not a good way to start a dangerous journey.
This book includes a brief Compendium of Lore covering notes, definitions, and maps from Books One to Three.
For the first time ever, this collection of short stories by Gary Troia brings together, in chronological order stories and memoirs from Spanish Yarns and Beyond, English Yarns and Beyond and A Bricklayer’s Tales into one complete volume.
"Excellent! A collection of short stories about depression, alcoholism and drug use. Very compelling reading. I read this short story collection all in one go." (Maria, Goodreads.)A Bricklayer's Tales is the ultimate "I hate this job" story, written as a collection of short stories and memoirs, each one revealing a snapshot in the life of Ray. Troia captures the tedium of working in a low paid, menial job and living hand to mouth. This book of short stories is sad and questions the reader to ask questions about their own life. This book achieves clarity without trying.
Ray has three expensive hobbies: drinking, drugs, and running away. Without the income that Bricklaying provides, he would not be able to maintain his chosen lifestyle, so he compromises his principles and continues with his trade.
A collection of short stories and memoirs that include:
The Cuckoo's Egg. Boyhood antics lead to tragedy.
My Grandfather's Shed. The making of an English key
No Comb on the Cock. Gypsies, champion fighting cocks, and career choices.
What I Did In My Summer Holidays In 1000 Words. Could having an idea ever be considered a criminal act?
My Best Mate’s Head. Did a weekend of boozing save Ray from certain death?
The Shetland Isles. A trip to sunny Benidorm, a chance meeting with some Glaswegians, and a cold, miserable job in Lerwick.
Pointing a House in Islington. Too much alcohol and cocaine don't mix well on building sites!
Angel Dust. The peculiar story of a man whose new life in America leads to conversations with Ancient Greek philosophers
Peyote. Hippies, LSD and an idyllic refuge
Return Ticket. Handcuffed and ready for deportation. A sad departure from the States
When I Joined a Cult. Sober dating as Ray discovers religion.
Bilbao. How very, very English!
Teaching Other People. The grass is always greener-the escape from bricklaying.
A Week in the Life of Ray Dennis. With the prospect of no money for food or alcohol this Christmas, Ray has to find work quickly.
Catania. A meeting with a Sicilian fox, some Neapolitans, and a man with a camel haired coat.
Advert In The Art Shop Window. Will a new building job in Spain be the start of a new life?
Gaudi. A flight to Barcelona for a kebab, and a look at the Sagrada Familia.
The Day My Soul Left Me. "To be or not to be? That is the question"
How Not to Travel to The Alhambra. Hung-over, the wrong fuel, the car breaks down. Will they ever make it to Granada?
The Road To Ronda. A terrifying drive to Ronda, was it worth it?
Poking A Carob Tree. A new home and new neighbours, just in time for Christmas.
Spain Reborn.No more commuting to London. Lets celebrate!
Home From Home. A parallel world where the Spanish have taken over Weymouth.
Three Common Carp.An epic battle with a whale and marlin it is not.
Mrs. McClintock. An absurd farce in which a Glaswegian couple retire to Spain
Steak, Egg and Intensive Care. A harmless dinner leads to hospitalisation.
The Unchangeable Chameleon. Can a leopard change it's spots?
A Bricklayer's Tale. The story of a disillusioned, alcoholic bricklayer
A collection short stories and memoirs of British dark humour.
Still the Dawn. A book of poems and ballads. Poems written to preserve memories, explore moods, emotions, art, myths, real events and dreams, together with some attempts at light verse, even nonsense. Ballads that tell tales, reflect on the seasons, time and its passing. The poet enters the mead hall, un-lids his word hoard, recites. He shares his gift. Those who attend to his works, he hopes to entertain.
Short stories for the fireside (or wherever you have your e-reader). A diverse variety of humour, historical, murder, ghost, sentimental, adventure, and even a bit naughty - there is sure to be something to entertain you. There are even two BONUS read-aloud stories for children.
These stories have been published previously in magazines or newspapers. Some are adapted from chapters in But Can You Drink The Water? and some also appear in Something to Read on the Plane.
1. A ‘Tail’ of Woe.
Frank planned a quiet afternoon of model aeroplane building. But unfortunately he failed to take his father-in-law into account.
2. Proof of the Pudding.
The residents of Ladysmith were eager to escape before the town was besieged. Albert Swinbourne, however, had other plans.
3. The Tryst
He tried nibbling her ear. He wasn’t sure whether he should be licking, nibbling, or kissing it. Even after re-watching a movie he still hadn’t been able to make out the exact technique.
4. One Little Pig Stayed at Home.
When the young troopie was offered room and board in exchange for some light work, he thought his luck had changed.
5. The Secret.
Jenny wasn’t expecting to meet an old school friend, especially one who would revive memories best forgotten.
As the Spitfire soared into the air Bill wanted to impress his grandson, but would the old man’s nerves hold out?
7. A Matter of Convenience
Family holidays were not the happy events they had once been, especially now that Walter’s bladder had become a liability.
8. The Letter.
The two buddies were living and working together out in the sticks, and they were beginning to set each other’s teeth on edge. Then one of them made a very weird suggestion…
9. Night Noises.
Strange, the fascination and peculiar power of a man’s imagination; the terrors the silent darkness can hold. And who knows the tormented imaginings of those who have been led down the deep dark path of insanity...?
10. Reluctant Reunion
Pauline’s old school-friend, a slim, glamorous divorcee - who just happened to be an old flame of Pauline’s husband – was coming home to Liverpool to visit. Pauline wasn’t looking forward to it one bit.
11. Poste Haste.
Frank heaved a sigh of relief when his wife’s relatives went home. Little did he know his troubles were just beginning.
12. The Waiting Chalice
The she-fox had been biding her time. Finally the wait was over.
13. Grandfather’s Dream
Sipho set out to fulfil his Grandfather’s dream, and in doing so learnt the power of imagination.
14. Light’s Out
Tom enjoyed his job, even if it was a bit boring and predictable. He liked the routine, and today was going to be just another ordinary day...
15. Family Ties
Mavis had been so sure of where her heart lay, but now ‘home’ had a new definition.
TWO BONUS READ-ALOUD STORIES FOR CHILDREN
16. The Worried Little Christmas Tree
The little plastic Christmas tree thought no one wanted him, until he found an unexpected home.
17. Waldo and the Leather Thing
Waldo didn’t want to wear anything round his neck, but he soon found the importance of wearing a collar.
"A biblical comedy, a millennial carnival, a strange dispatch from beyond the rapture."
"A crazy-ass futuristic book."
Jack Delfan is an unwitting Noah who has turned his back on the world of men. He lives in an oil tanker in a sea of sand. He believes in digging. When a son, Hob, is delivered to him, Delfan teaches the boy how to use a spade and read the book. Delfan is a difficult father and refuses to tell Hob who his mother is. Then the Gcwi come.
Hob and the Gcwi set out on a quest to find Hob's mother. It is a journey that is destined to break Hob's heart. There are times when a broken heart is what it takes.
The Excavations is coming of age tale which delves into the history of the world, and into its future. It is a prophecy of what will come if we fail to confront the results of climate change and imploding capitalism.
From old English delfan "to dig"
From Proto-Indo-European root dhelbh - source also of Lithuanian delba "crowbar," Russian dolbit, Czech dlabati, Polish dłubać "to chisel".
Related: Delved; delving.
Can also be an instruction:
A curious incident occurred during the 1969 Apollo 10 moon mission. A white object, later dubbed a 'moon pigeon', was filmed moving above the moon's surface below the spacecraft. An official NASA report entitled "Moon pigeons and other unidentified visual phenomena associated with space flight", published in 1970, attributed the Apollo 10 'moon pigeon' to either a piece of ice or a reflection from the window of the spacecraft.
This is the story of a pigeon named Phoebe Featherbelle, who met a NASA scientist and set out to discover the truth about the incident.
What happened to her is described by a pair of Trafalgar Square pigeons.
Gary Troia is a writer, he has also been a bricklayer, a teacher, a philosophy student and a sufferer of several disorders, including: manic depression, alcoholism, fear of flying and a dislike of most people.
After Gary announces that he will no longer fly, his wife, Poppo books a coach holiday to Lake Como. One week later, with the newly acquired kittens dropped off at the cattery, Gary and Poppo embark on a twenty-four hour coach journey to Italy.
Gary always believed the restless, relentless, impossible-to-satisfy voice in his head was one of his greatest assets. It spurred him on. For a while, his strategy worked. But soon the energy of raw emotion would dissipate, and he would be back where he started. What happened next was completely unforeseen. Through a bizarre series of events - involving gangsters, the ICF, deportation from the States, Christian cults and the AA - Gary stumbled upon something that helped him tame the voice in his head: inspirational books. He spent years reading them before having a quiet revolution. Gary’s life was not transformed into a thing of beauty, but he did gain a passion for daily reflection and meditation. While the book itself is a narrative account of a journey to Lake Como, The coach to Como is ultimately the story of survival, recovery and evolution. The book is well crafted, with various threads being skilfully interwoven to give a colourful but incredibly honest account of the journey Gary has undertaken since he came to terms with his ego, his internal struggles with life, loneliness, rebelliousness and self-destructive behaviour.
Two pigeons, Wilbur and Pippa, present the entire epic story of the battle that changed Trafalgar Square forever, told from the pigeon side of the conflict. Narrated over one historic evening's roost in ten hard-hitting and historically researched historic chapters, this is the first time in pigeon history that the whole history of the historic plight of the Trafalgar Square pigeons has been told.
This Great Blockbuster Trilogy of the So What! Stories has it all - Humour, heartache and criminal thrills and spills!
In Book One we follow the career of teacher Robert Jeffrey through the antics of his pupils - both in and out of the classroom. Giggle and gasp at the hilarious and sad tales of pupils; and with romance, bullying and intimidation, teachers that struggle and those that are popular you will be getting a full range of High School life!
In Book Two we find Molly Pearson, Robert's student teacher, attempting to create a wildlife and nature garden with the help of her Year 7 kids, against dramatic odds! Self-harming, arson, gang violence and teenage angst all seem to be teaming up as obstacles to block success from Molly and her class of 11 year-olds!
In Book Three the reader has to keep up with ex-pupil detective Shantra as he pursues the desperate criminals who caused trauma and tragedy to the school community. A criminal fireworks stunt that goes disastrously wrong leads to death and mayhem; while the conspiring fraudsters look like they might get away with things! Just how does a black spider monkey come to assist detective Shantra in his attempts to catch the felons?
Could Have Been Verse is a book of nonsense. This stuff isn't rare. It's certainly not well done. And to call it poetry would be an insult to the medium.
If the Voyager 1 space probe was picked up in outer space by extraterrestrials, what would happen? Here's your opportunity to find out.
Voyager 1 was launched by NASA in 1977 to study the outer solar system and, ultimately, interstellar space. It carried a gold-plated audio-visual disc in the event that it might be found by intelligent life-forms from other planetary systems. It was discovered by goopmutt bandits who towed it through interstellar space at superluminal speed. In an effort to conceal their crime, they manipulated the data on the craft’s digital tape recorder and left it in the heliosphere where its signal could still be picked up from Earth. Eventually, they abandoned the probe in the Centaurus galaxy where it was picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from a small circumbinary planet known as Morys Minor.
'A Gem of Interwoven Tales' to engage, amuse and delight.Five stars on Amazon. Five stars on Goodreads. Readers are asking for the next slice of English village life.The fifth to the eighth tales in The Village; A Year in Twelve Tales. At May-time a gardening competition re-kindles an old rivalry amid mourning and bereavement. The June wedding seasons sees a quartet of couples making difficult romantic decisions. There is skull-doggery and dastardly deeds at the Summer Fete. Real violence erupts with an influx of transient newcomers as the harvesting begins. The next four inter-linked stories are about life in the village and its wide cast of characters, as four generations of the Marshall family negotiate the hazards of their own family saga, while, around them babies are born, plots are hatched, romance blooms and marriages founder.Check out the reviews on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Goodreads and Riffle.Readers say'Anderson cleverly interlinks all the characters and ...you end up becoming extremely attached to the village and the people who reside in it. What a superb first publication, I look forward to many more titles.' A Cheeky Booklover (independent book reviewer)'The prose is clear and crisp, and the build towards the last story is subtly done, with many threads coming together for an exciting climax.' Stuart Wakefield Kindle best selling author'A tour de force..... I shall look out for the next publication from this talented writer.' Amazon review'I was totally absorbed in this book from page one. I... hope very much that there will be further publications telling more about the people I felt I was getting to know so well. I look forward very much to further works by this author.' Amazon review'The inter-woven layered nature of village life is captured perfectly. I was thoroughly involved...' Amazon reviewScroll up and download your copy today.
Great Book For All Ages !!!
How does man in a new country feel? What if non living things could walk, where would they go? What if inanimate things can wish? What would they wish for?
Two of children's favorite things to do is reading and telling stories. They have really short attention span so making them listen is really challenging especially if you want them to understand something really important. But what can be more fun learning about values than engaging them in a witty, adventurous and exciting tale?
Pharmdee: The Pill Factory Volume 1 brings you that! This children's book written by PhD Anchor, is an adventure series that will surely get you hooked in suspense with every chapter in each of its 26 volumes.
The story follows Nick, a man from early19th century England moved to the United States of America. He owns Barden Pill Factory that manufactures pills including Almo, a little and very much alive pill.
Almo, being able to escape, roams around the factory and meets several inanimate friends. As he wanders, he gets exposed to the thrilling yet shocking lives of pills. Now, Almo wants to grow bigger and stronger
One day, as Nick was moving a cargo away on Mississippi river, he encounters Naval Air Station agents whom he promised to give 999 pills but there is a HUGE problem! One pill is missing -- and it's Almo!
Now, with one pill lost, what will happen to Nick?a read alone or with guidance book for kids age 5-8, or as a read alone tale for kids 9-12 who are looking for a new sort of hero. oxford dictionary,Will he be able to go back to the factory? What will become of Almo? Will he get his wish of growing bigger?
>> Download This Book Today
Set in the surroundings of Sedona's Red Rocks, teenager Kimberly has been dealt a tough hand. She’s an Army orphan who has been forced to move in with her aunt Blanche, her mother’s sister, Blanche’s drunken oaf of a husband, Dean. But things aren’t all bad, as Kimberly finds a new friendship with Lexy, the daughter of Max, a prominent widower, and businessman in town.
"Like two ships that pass in the night," Max told Blanch thinking that a one-night fling when they met, which awoke Blanche’s long, lost desires are awakened as is Max’s need to build a solid romantic relationship. Next, Blanche and Kimberly open the Sedona's Heart Cafe, a surprisingly successful restaurant that quickly becomes a favorite in the community.
Will Dean or a woman from Max's past interfere in their grand love affair?
Warning: This book contains erotic, and is only suitable for mature reading only.
From the Author of The Accidental Archmage Series - The Summus Magister Series.
Mystery, humor, magic, and archaic words await!
Enter an Earth where magic history took a detour. Where science and magic co-exist. Trains and magic carpets. Detectives and demons. Demons and professors.
Explore the world with Professor Lucius K. Henry, High Mage and magical detective extraordinaire. Sherlock with magic. And trains, flying carpets, mages, deadly enigmas, spies, vampires and other such unsavory creatures, books of ill repute, and much, much more.
But something is terribly wrong. Magic is disappearing.
A LitRPG satire.
READY, PLAYER ONE?
The best RPG game of the millennium is here! BONER THE BARBARIAN ONLINE XIII! Now with tens of thousands of quantum servers, a simplified interface, and nanite hardware. A vastly enhanced living, realistic digital world! FULL IMMERSION!
Wait! There's more! Version XIII offers you the best of the combined MIBAN and Chap-U gaming worlds! Play traditional or your own brand of RPG! Enter lands where cultivation and qi styles of play are available! Learn the language, enjoy the different cultures, and then – hack, slash, burn, hex, blast, or freeze your enemies to your heart's content! Hear the lamentations of their women before they bring out their biiigggg knives! Crush their puny kingdoms under your sandaled feet! If you can find them or understand the language!
Meet deities, demons, champions, and people who want to kill you! There are no NPC's in this game! Each character you meet is unique and will act as a thinking and living being! A REAL, BREATHING DIGITAL WORLD!
Please read the manual before playing and press the small button at the back of the headgear if you intend to enter other game worlds. Warranty on playing does not cover nor include full protection from viruses, controlware, thought trojans, rogue nanites, ransomware, funware hackers, military and corporate malware operators, as well as any and all damage arising from the player's own act or omission. The same damage clause applies to third party damage.
The above limitations do not apply if you're God, the president of any of the companies involved, or own more than 5% of the stock of such conglomerates.
“ONE GEAR, ONE PLAYER”
"The three men, obviously town guards, drew their swords. Long and sharp swords, bigger than his, and in better condition too, shining as the sun glinted on the upraised weapons. He tried to get the details of the man in front of him but the blue square which activated above the guard’s head was in Chinese! All he could recognize was the number 65. Mark was in shock. He realized that reading them must be related to acquiring the appropriate language skill. And the guard was at Level 65! His character didn’t have a level yet! The man asked him a couple of questions again. Peepee the Invincible shook his head. It must have been the wrong answer as the three immediately rushed him. The crowd scampered away. He had barely drawn his greatsword a quarter of the way out of its scabbard when three swords got him. One on each side of the neck and the third where the sun doesn’t shine. These guys are mean, he thought as he died."
Ray Dennis does the secret, a simple law of attraction story is a humorous parody based on The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.
When Ray Dennis, an alcoholic English bricklayer, is deported from the US back to the UK on a drug charge, he has no idea that his life and identity are about to change forever. Shattered by his knowledge that he is a failure, Ray dedicates himself to self-improvement and unwittingly puts himself and his family on a path to disaster once he discovers The Secret.With a change of name and new passport, Ray returns to LA. He meets a Guru who introduces him to the teachings of The Secret, and shows Ray how to plant thought seeds. And so begins his quest to completely change his life. His thoughts seeds create a wife, kids, a successful business, and a big house. But his success comes at a price as serious drug traffickers eventually kill his wife and children, and the police won’t help when they find out he was in the country illegally.
Revenge is brewing in Hell. The Lord of Shadows is back and plotting the downfall of humanity… and the harrowing demise of a small teenage boy from Little Underwood.
Timothy, Rupert and George return for their second year at Great Underwood Upper. Yet with Lucifer back with a vengeance and Ursula Le Rouge more determined than ever before, it promises to be Timothy’s most hellish challenge to date.
Can Timothy and his friends save their school and themselves from a demon invasion? Will the League of Demon Hunters answer the call before it’s too late? Can Timothy win the Last Battle ― again? And will Timothy finally discover a way to tame his unruly hair?
Find out in this all-action second instalment in the Timothy Williams saga.
Hell on Earth? Not if Timothy can help it.
Being an avid aquarium hobbyist, it is obviously just a matter of time before Neil finds himself travelling by wormhole to a small circumbinary planet in the constellation of Cygnus. Okay, it's probably more relevant that he is the grandson of a woman who had befriended extra-terrestrials at the turn of the 21st century. Having been chosen to broker a peace agreement between Mortian and Earth peoples, he is hampered in his efforts by the disappearance of his Earthling friend, Aysha, the general unpredictability of life on planet Melinda and the sinister chicanery of the chilloks, a species evolved from ants that is bent on overthrowing humankind...
This collection of short stories and poems grew from many different sources. Some tales have been sitting in my writing files for nearly fifteen years waiting to be properly edited.
Many grew out of prompts from the people at various writing groups, and some even came from personal experience.
Some simple happened because during bouts of people watching I discovered there were short tales everywhere.
I am often asked how I can write some of my darker material when I generally am a bright and positive person.
Like most things in life, stories very quickly take on a life of their own, and if they choose to be dark, so be it. Every parent knows that some of their children will grow up happy and others will march to a totally different drummer.
So please enjoy this mad pool of stories and poems. It will be a meal with a wide variety of taste and flavor.
'A Gem of Interwoven Tales' to engage, amuse and delight.Five stars on Amazon. Five stars on Goodreads. Readers are asking for the next slice of English village life.The ninth to the twelfth tales from The Village; A Year in Twelve Tales. The harvest and new life are celebrated, as a long expected departure takes place. The villagers try to do 'the right thing' and almost come to grief. In November, in the rain, a new arrival to the village learns the importance of first impressions. The the village has to come together at the end of the year to overcome a major threat.These four inter-linked stories portray life in the village, with its wide cast of characters. Four generations of the Marshall family negotiate the hazards of their own family saga, while, around them babies are born, plots are hatched, romances bloom and marriages founder and death, both anticipated and unlooked for, pays a call.Check out the reviews on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Goodreads and Riffle.Readers say'Anderson cleverly interlinks all the characters and ...you end up becoming extremely attached to the village and the people who reside in it. I look forward to many more titles.' A Cheeky Booklover (Goodreads book reviewer)'The prose is clear and crisp, and the build towards the last story is subtly done, with many threads coming together for an exciting climax.'A tour de force..... I shall look out for the next publication from this talented writer.' Amazon review'I was totally absorbed in this book from page one. I... hope very much that there will be further publications telling more about the people I felt I was getting to know so well. I look forward very much to further works by this author.' Amazon review'Totally absorbing, this book will delight anyone who is interested in people and their emotions, motivations and relationships.' Annette Souter (Amazon.co.uk review) Scroll up and download your copy today
A humorous look at words that don't offend Liberals. The book will probably offend Liberals. This is meant for the entertainment of open minded people.
People need to look at their government. I have written articles for over 20 years; from the first Bush to Obama. We have problems we need to face and quit sticking our head in the sand. It's okay to be a liberal or a conservative, but neither exists in our government today. Our politicians do everything but what they were elected to do: Represent the People. If you are open minded you will enjoy this. If you've only voted one party all of your life then don't download this book. Stop to look at what our politicians are doing today. If you are an open minded Christian you might enjoy this. And if you are you must admit God is probably not too happy. Atheists are offended. Everyone should be offended that they are offended. When talking about being Christian in the military becomes an act of "treason," then we have bigger problems. America has spent so much time protecting each individual’s rights that no one has any rights. Throughout history every great empire has collapsed; there have been no exceptions. To all the military living and dead who served the United States of America, with honor and sacrifice for freedom and their country, may the actions of Congress and our Presidents not make their dedication in to God and country in vain. WARNING! This is for mature audiences so if you’re a Democrat or Republican who always voted the same ticket, this is not for you, because it means you are incapable of thinking on your own, so I’d rather you not buy it. If you are a frustrated American upset with the current administrations then you may find these scribbles quit enjoyable. Should I Forget A simple reminder, since I might forget. These are scribbles of an Old Fart and you may find repetitions. This is due to “Oldheimers.” DISCLAIMER Any resemblance to political persons in office is purely intentional. FOR PETA’S SAKE! For your peace of mind let it be known that NO animals were injured during the making of these meandering scribbles. GIVE ME A BREAK! I’m not a racist, and I’m not a terrorist, I’m just trying to be funny and open your eyes to other solutions. If you have better ideas then you write a book. FINAL WARNING! Before you read this I must remind you that you have three choices. You can only pick one so be careful. You are a Democrat, a Republican or an American. If you picked one of the first two then don’t get this book and if you do then don’t complain. Americans tell the truth, the other two don’t. Offended yet? You will be; unless you’re an American. FOR OBAMA I’M AMERICA’S BIGGEST THREAT I’m a white, Christian, heterosexual, and I believe in traditional marriage. I am America’s Biggest Threat. Get Over It!
Neil is an avid aquarium hobbyist. He is also the grandson of a woman who befriended extraterrestrials from a small circumbinary planet known as Morys Minor. Having obtained financial backing for a project to re-establish contact with his late grandmother's alien friends, he unexpectedly receives a visit from one of them. Unfortunately, yukawa3 has alarming news for everyone on Earth. A species evolved from ants is surreptitiously invading the planet and is bent on overthrowing humankind. Neil must act to save his fish. The consequences of failure are unsinkable.
Based on all the best books you can think of and written with all the clarity of a grungy and neglected fish tank, ANTidote explores themes of staggering inanity sprinkled with a few flakes of nourishing perspicacity (mainly for the fish).
This book is part of a trilogy of two books, the first of which, Through The Wormhole Literally, was published in 2015.
Book Two in the Vale of Strange series
Peter returns to the Vale of Strange with his new friend Mala, hoping to find her father, the hapless explorer Augustus Flipper, who has disappeared in a sudden outbreak of strangeness.
Peter and Mala have to grapple with a number of difficult questions. Why is the unpleasant Percival Crow building a swimming pool even though he never takes a swim? Why have the mysterious four-foot-high bearded Australians taken against Uncle Bob? And what has produced the lights in the sky and the multicoloured bubbles of strangeness all across Mala’s lawn? Peter suspects that something big is happening here, but the most important question is this: will the reluctant Amanda decide to help them after all?
A volume of short stories with a wide range of themes.
In Stirring The Grass, Rick Griffin’s Muslim girlfriend, Sara Awad, is reported as missing. This opens up a whole can of worms involving international espionage with all its attendant deceit and duplicity and sets everyone involved on a roller coaster of emotional turmoil…
In Man Flu, something strange starts claiming the lives of birds in the West Hill dominion. There are no external wounds, no signs of struggle, no readily obvious cause of death. The inner circle, under the presidency of a charismatic robin, decides that humans are responsible. The word goes out that all contact with humans is forbidden and, most significantly, bird feeders are declared off-limits. The penalty for breaking the embargo is severe…
Also included: Shackleton's Shed, Earthwatch Uncovered, One Way Ticket, Moth Cake and The Olive Branch.
After a tongue-in-cheek beginning that will seem very familiar, especially to younger readers, this short story bounces like a mis-hit tennis ball from one episode to another as it follows the progress of would-be tennis champ Jez on the trail to Wimbledon.
Q. What do a talking mouse, an extraterrestrial dressed as Santa Claus and a burping cow all have in common?
A. They're all in this book!
Talking Trousers is a story about a mouse who is given the speech gene in an experimental research laboratory.
In Santa Comes Down The Wormhole, a space outlaw finds the Voyager space probe and decides to visit planet Earth disguised as Santa Claus.
Bonaparte Breaks A Wing
The Burping Cow
Ivy and Holly
Another adventure in the life of the best magical detective in the world.
This time, he's back in the Kingdom of Wallachia to help a friend. A land of unfortunate memories - the remote village of lamias, the unexpected dhampir castle, mad monks, high demons squabbling over the soul of a mad mage, among many such quaint experiences.
Unknown to our Summus Magister and his assistant, the mystery of why a town called Almost Dead is becoming full of the walking and talking dearly departed is but the tip of the proverbial iceberg. A fanged one.
A Companion Book to the ACCIDENTAL ARCHMAGE Series. Stories from Kemet and the Death Lands, the Dual Monarchy of Sumer and Akkad, and the Kingdoms of the Edge.
Before the Elder Archmage arrived on Adar, it was already a world of gods, mortals, and other beings. Desperate adventurers, rogues, mercenaries, mages of every cloth, kings, emperors, the desperate, and the ambitious were in every civilization, tribe, and other gatherings of humans. A barely explored world full of riches, priceless magical artifacts, and raw power enough to found and rule kingdoms and empires. Or at the very least, enable a very comfortable retirement.
These are their stories. Tales of treasure hunts, quests, explorations, and other ventures. Human greed, dangerously fortified with curiosity, drove them to the darkest nooks and crannies of the world. They only needed to wager their very souls.
Adar. A world of fantastic stories. Of capricious gods. Of magic. Of soulless horrors. Join a lost expedition, a demon hunter, and a trio of rogues. They've got everything to gain and only their souls to lose.
Three stories. Unique adventures. Different lands. Unexpected endings.
Each tale is around 5,000 to 9,000 words in length, divided into subchapters. Word count is approximately 25,000.
‘A Halloween treat, much better than sweets.’
A time for candy and costumes,
pumpkins and ‘Trick or Treat’.
But beware of the bully
lurking just down the street.
Ebenezer is really excited! It’s his first Halloween to go out ‘Trick or Treating’. Jacob Marley is excited too, but this school bully plans to steal all the kids’ sweets.Can Eb and his friends, along with the magical clock Grandfather Time teach Jacob the error of his ways? Or is the boy doomed to a life of crime, just like his wicked father?
The story of ‘Ebenezer and the Bully’ is a magical rhyming tale of behaviour matters, and the importance of being kind. It’s a treat for families to share or for reading alone, aimed at children aged 8-12 years old. With characters loosely based around the Charles Dickens classic ‘A Christmas Carol’, you’ll meet the Ghost of Christmas Past - a golden red puppy named Miss Ruby Heart - along with the Grim Reaper who will surprise Jacob by revealing his future self.
The first three novels in the romantic, suspense, supernatural series, entitled
THE MIRACLES AND MILLIONS SAGA
‘UNPUTDOWNABLE’ – Says one reviewer.
This omnibus edition includes the first THREE books in the Dorothy Lyle series, and contains close to 1,000 pages of weird visions, vast sums of cash, inner musings on the cosmos, broken-hearted girls, friends with attitude, thrifty parents, relentless spending, vivid dreams, chocolate, fire-bombs, a gun-loving tough guy, humour and stalkers. This highly addictive series has it all.
Who is Dorothy Lyle?
She’s a woman who appears super-normal at first glance. She resides in a modest house in a small Irish town, and commutes to a typical office. She’s a lone parent who misses her children now that they are at college. Yet Dorothy is so much more than the obvious. She is a powerful psychic who has been masquerading as normal for twenty years. She is also a woman who has been avoiding men since a nasty breakup and divorce left her reeling in shock while still in her twenties.
The winds of change begin to blow around Dorothy as she approaches her fortieth birthday. An unfortunate affair of the heart means that her daughter, Diane, has distanced herself from her former home and doting mother. Dorothy wonders if some extra cash might alleviate the immediate problem.
Enter the lottery and one hundred and eight-five million tax free dollars.
How easy do you think it is to hide your true self when you unexpectedly become the fortieth richest woman in your own small country? How feasible do you think it is to avoid all dating and romantic involvements when you are single, and literally rolling in cash? How practical do you think it is to stay safe when so many of those around you seem to resent your good fortune?
This box set contains the following three books:
DOROTHY LYLE IN AVARICE – BOOK 1. Join Dorothy on the first leg of her rollercoaster journey as she discovers what an emotionally charged and complicated experience dealing with unexpected wealth can be. Clairvoyance may in handy on occasion, but it doesn’t help you decide who gets what!
DOROTHY LYLE IN COLOUR – BOOK 2. Relax with Dorothy as she begins to truly enjoy her wealth and changes in fortune. Only for her new-found pleasure to be jeopardised by a tarot card reading of all things! Once again, change is afoot, although this time it’s of a sinister nature.
DOROTHY LYLE IN HELP – BOOK 3. Watch what happens when Dorothy concedes that she cannot protect herself alone, and sets out to hire professional help. Ever wondered what it would be like to come face to face with your other half? The half you weren’t fully aware was even missing. And if he happened to be in a bad mood at that momentous moment, do you think it might colour your judgement? Read on, folks, and find out the answers to these questions and about a hundred more.
MIRACLES AND MILLIONS: TWO MINDS, TWO BODIES, TWO HEARTS, ONE SOUL
Helen finds more than she bargained for when taking a vacation in Rhodes, Greece. She buys a souvenir that, and with superstitious locals, the questions about it almost get her and those around her killed. She finds a relationship in Dimitris, that she fought to resist, but he tries to help her find answers to why anyone would try to take the little picture from her. She was told to leave it alone, don't pursue the answers to questions that have been hidden for decades, but her curiosity and stubbornness won't let her back off. She awakens feelings in Dimitris that he had not had in a long time. The magnetic pull they feel for each other becomes epic and all-encompassing, which brings complications with past lovers. Part 1 Book 1, The Shadows of Rhodes series.
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