Author Profile

E Ryan Janz

Country: United States
0 followers

Biography

My name is Ryan Janz and I live in Anytown, USA, and I have chosen not to include my photo in my bio at this time in the abject fear I will be recognized and therefore mobbed by crazed fans. For example, say I post my picture, and let’s also say I’m walking my dog down my friendly neighborhood street, you know, Main Street, and as a result the unthinkable occurs:

I am breathlessly asked by a passing neighbor to autograph my thrilling new Noir/Private Investigator novel, Boulevard Dreams, or I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. Purchase here https://amzn.to/2JEk6OU

My neighbor doesn’t have the book with him, or as he put it, “I’ve never heard of your stupid piece of trash and you frighten me”.

I give him a copy I happen to be carrying in my wheel barrel.

My neighbor is hesitant in believing I wrote the book.

I produce my driver’s license for proof of my authorship, careful to place my thumb over my picture because I do not wish to be recognized and therefore mobbed by crazed fans.

My neighbor threatens to call the police.

My dog insists we hastily return home, and as we do, I lower my baseball cap across my face because I do not wish to be recognized and…etc.

I hear police sirens and as I hide below the trap door in my basement my dog decides to move out.

While living under my basement and reading a handy book on chock full of fun survival techniques, it occurs to me I don’t own a dog.

Having read how baked rat can easily be transformed into a healthy snack while overthrowing the government, I hear a dog howling in the distance, reminding me it’s time once again to collect my wheel barrel and join my dog for a pleasant walk down Main Street, USA
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