Jonathan GogginCountry: United Kingdom
BiographyMy Earliest Memories have always played a massive part in my life but that goes for all people. I would never play on these and say it was why I made the decision I have today but they definitely made an impact. From have a Disruptive Childhood, my family breaking up and moving around the country. I faced my challenges in life because of my early years and because we moved around a lot, I often found having to settle into new schools hard, as I could never make constant friends, therefore, this also led to my being Bullied.
As I progressed through life I quite often had relationship but could never stay in one as I lacked trust due to my partners forever cheating and breaking up. At the age of 12 years old I went to stay with my nan due to a new partner of my mums being abusive but when I lived here my life seemed to gain more structure. I done better at school and went to college and gained entry into a university. However I met this girl and I thought she was everything. I was given an ultimatum by my family, either, I go to university and have my family or I have her. So I had chosen her. Time went by for the next couple of years I got a job and we got a place together but I was always paranoid. Ultimately she would cheat on me but I stayed with her until things got to breaking point. I split with her a week before Christmas 2016 and things got out of hand. When I say things got out of hand, my life was on a downward spiral since October when I was involved in a car accident which I caused but would never take the blame.
Before this event I always liked to gamble but this event triggered something in me to increase my stakes. On October 23rd 2016 I decided I couldn’t live with myself anymore, I lost the last of my money and done runner to Amsterdam as this was the first plane out of the country. I was missing for day and only returned home when I was contacted by my older brother. He was the one to explain to family what happened. My family then arranged for me to start Gamblers Anonymous but I never took it seriously and this would then also contribute to me and my partner splitting. I remember knowing my ex partner Facebook details so I logged in as her and seen several message back and forth to different men and explicit images, so I posted all of these online. Yes, it was the wrong thing to do but I was suffering that much I wanted everybody else to suffer with me. I was also arrested a couple of times due to several acquisitions being made against me which turned out not to be true by my former partner parents. This then over spilled into work where I worked with my partners family and they spread so many rumours around there it was intolerable to work there anymore. During this time my great grandmother passed away and I wasn’t given any bereavement time from work and I was just pushed to one side in work. I found nails underneath my tyres one day and though it was the ex partners family so I picked them up and went round to there house where I confronted them. As I tried to leave they stood in front of my car and as I went to pull away my ex partner sat on my car. After a couple of hours went by after this event I was arrested on an ABH charge for trying to injure my ex partner. I didn’t know what to do so to escape all of this I went back to gambling. Come the 19th February 2017, the day I last had a bet, I done another runner for several days and then tried to killed myself on 23rd February 2017. I lost all my money, in total I gambled £338,000 and ultimately went bankrupt as a result of this. Although I tried to kill myself I was found by two generous people who took me to the nearest police station and then I was transferred to my local mental health ward, where I would spend the next 2 and a half months. During this time, this is where my family would come back into my life and help me sort my problems. I admitted to everything, so I became bankrupt, I received a criminal record for common assault for my actions on the day of confronting my ex partners family. I would also lose my job but not because of me but because of the way I was treated by my work and the detrimental effect the had on my mental health and not supporting me. They came to a settlement agreement and produced a contract from me to sign, never to speak about what went on again.
Upon leaving the mental health ward I have since started volunteering to give some back and to say thank you to all those who have help me and to show other people to there is hope and you can change your life around.
Some of my volunteering duties are:
• Gamblers Anonymous Secretary
• Time to Change Champion for Halton – in which I have started a group within the borough to help promote mental health and reduce stigma and discrimination
• NHS involvement scheme and recovery college work – visiting mental health wards and delivering talks about my experience and how anybody can overcome there battles and challenges
• NHS/Liverpool university mentor – visiting students from Liverpool university on there placement and advising and assisting in any queries they have.
• Halton Mental Health hubs – attending local council hubs and help in signpost those who suffer with the mental health to the appropriate services and reassurance that if I can come through it then they will too
• Public speaking events – conducting individual public speaking events for different organisations to help reduce stigma and promote mental health awareness. Also, encouraging others to speak out and highlight there own issues.
• Mind/DWP – providing mental health training to work coaches and other staff alongside mind and assisting in there development of understanding mental health and complex health conditions.
• Public Health England – attending public health England conference and speaking about my experience and informing others of difference within mental health. Holding Q and A sessions within these conferences.
• Maintaining a positive social media presence and promoting awareness openly and honestly through my personal story.
My life has only just began.